My mini me turns 9!

Amelia or better known as 'Mills' is our second child and also by proxy our middle child. She is super quirky, loud, sensitive and above all else is loved more than life itself. Tomorrow is her birthday. She is only one year off double digits and still she is so very innocent. Except maybe for when she is checking out good looking boys. 

Mills is always the last ready anytime of the day. She is the child that will be dancing while everyone else sits quietly. She sings a lot and actually has a good voice. She collects every little tricket she finds no matter if it really is rubbish. Mills is unique. 

Mills seems to grow almost unnoticed and yet she is never forgotten. 

When asked what she wanted to do for her birthday she replied with "I want you, dad and my sisters to go to the rifle range". She is the son Marty never got and the boy I always wanted. She is super girly and yet happy to shoot rabbits with Marty. 

When I look at mills I still see the beautiful dark haired baby with the most amazing coloured eyes I have every seen. They change from green to hazel and have the deepest dusty blue ring around them. 

I know as mills grows and changes she will become a stunning lady, who i have no doubts will own a gun and a ute and drive it in heals!

 Happy birthday moocher!

Step away from that phone....

Of late our family dynamic is slipping. Conversation is minimal, iPads, iPods, iPhones and big TV is raining supreme! We sit all in the one room not talking, not interacting. ITS SAD! Today was a scream fest to beat down all the others. The morning consisted of kids not focusing, not listening and generally just being lazy kids. I'm sure as they walked into school well after the morning bell that they hated me just a little. 

I felt gutted. I arrived back at work and walked straight to the toilet and burst into  tears. I hate yelling all the time. I hate having to be the bad guy all the time! I down right hate it. I almost made a silent promise of change there and then. Once Marty and I had spoken for almost 40 minutes about the problems we were having as a unit. 

A decision was made to switch off Facebook. I am choosing them over a screen. I'm listening to there stories and not reading others. I am choosing to be a better parent at the sacrifice of the outside world. The TV does not go on until 7pm. Electronics are limited to only a half an hour of the day and we will know what the kids are up to everyday. Although I will miss reading everyone's stories and getting giggles knowing how others feel when out parenting fails us. I know it is the best for us right know. 

We also made a promise to finish the shouse as quickly as we can once the June long weekend is out of the way. The kids need space to run, we also need space to from work and space to breath again. I miss my garden. I miss seeing my girls play while Marty cooks dinner and I hang washing out.  I just miss normality. 

Bx

A whole year has gone

Yesterday was Mother's Day. A day I love, a day that I think I like more than my birthday, for one fact you don't age on Mother's Day. This special day was always my favourite until last year it became the worst day of my life to date. I had fallen off a cliff and there was no way I was climbing back up until I hit the bottom. My mental health was in the toilet and all that was left of me was an empty shell. It was terrible. 

The year has been a roller coaster, with plenty of ups and downs. I have learnt huge lessons and lost many so called friends. I have grown and changed and for lack of better wording I have found the true me. The me that doesn't take crap. The me that stands up for my self and the ones I love. The me that will never play games to stay friends with anyone. 

That petty talking behind peoples back is something I just will not be involved in. People are all different and unless I was perfect, who am I to judge. I have enjoyed over the last twelve months of not having to juggle friends. I don't have a friend I call every other day. I just don't want to be that needy with anyone ever! 

The people that have touch my soul over the last twelve months will remain there forever. I don't believe I need to list them as I know they will know. I am truly thankful to all of them, as this Mother's Day I was a completely different Bx than last year. I was happy, healthy, strong and   True. 

So with that said it brings me back to yesterday. I was treated to special poems and specially picked gifts by the girls. We cuddled in our bed with the girls until the time to get up and go to work invaded this lovely moment. Once work finished Marty had organised a feast at the block, which was just plan beautiful. I had no idea who was coming and was so blown away with the effort Marty had gone to to make the day so very different from the last. 

Twelve months can make a world of difference sometimes. 

A letter to Miss Maya

Dear Maya,

11 years ago tomorrow you made your entrance into the world. It was one of the best days of my life. A day where I became a mother to a beautiful little girl.  You were perfect, with deep blue eyes, dark head of crazy hair, ten fingers and ten toes to complete the package. Your dad cried the first time he held you. Tears streamed down his face at the realisation you were a little lady and not a little boy as we had thought you were going to be. 

Our life from that day has never been the same and has been so much fuller for the fact your in it. When we brought you home, we had no idea what we were doing. We learnt as we went along. Always stumbling at the obsticales you would present, but we got through them. I think all three of us were learning from each other. You were a happy baby but would not like to sleep much through the day, which to be honest was our lack of knowledge in baby raising department. The first year sailed by with so many milestones. 

When you were two we brought home a little sister for you. You would kiss Amelia all day long if we let you. I think you loved her as much as we did. She was your shadow and to this day still looks up to you for everything. Not to far after Amelia, we brought home two more baby sisters, which made life very crazy for a few years. You were only three and a half but I remember looking at you thinking how grown up you were for your age. How you always helped mummy. 

Today as I looked at you in your last day of being ten, I am reminded that everyday with you is still us learning. You will always be the one we make mistakes with and try to do what's best, we think anyway. Your so close to being a young lady, that it does quite frankly scare us to bits. We just don't want to stuff up!

I know as you head into lady land, you will become all that is possible and be the person we will always be proud of and love unconditionally. 

I love you more than is humanly possible and more than the stars in the sky. 

Love always

Mum xxx