So I don't know about anyone else my age, but I know that growing up I was very critical of how my body looked. Other girls were critical of my body and vice versa. Body shaming was normal, fat was not accepted, eating disorders reined supreme and being comfortable in swimwear seemed abnormal.
It seemed no matter what size we were, what looked back at you in the mirror was always less than perfect. So much of my teen years I hated and now at almost 39 the scars of those years are still so strong. I find it even harder as I have 4 beautiful daughters that I run a fine line of making sure they never doubt themselves all the while I struggle with my own self esteem. So of late I have really felt I need to change these feelings and doubts I have in myself, to finally be the best version of myself.
This want for change has been growing and seemed to hit fever pitch after I purchased a bikini while we were on holidays. I wore it while we were away and felt confident, which secretly was because the only people that knew me were Marty and the girls. We arrive home to our small country town and I wear it once to the local pool and bam! Insecure Sally arrives and I clam up. Self doubt and wanting to cover up was all the thoughts that were going through my head. Yet my want to be proud of the fact I've lost 5kgs, my thighs no longer over lap and my arse does have less dimples than it did last summer due to a simple plan of moving more and eating cleaner.
Like a light bulb switches on as people I am following on Instagram, they all start thinking the same way. Self love is what we need to do. Stop comparing ourselves to unrealistic and photoshopped perfection. Stop judging ourselves so harshly and stop trying to compete with every woman on the planet. To embrace my daughters attitude that 'Everybody has a swimsuit body!' Its funny how you as the adult are meant to be the teacher to your children, but in this moment of my thought process, they are teaching me. To love myself, be proud of the skin I live in and to remember that this body has done some amazing things by growing four humans.
So I today I took a photo of my backside in the afore mentioned bikini and am determine to be ok with how it looks. Own my curves and love myself sick! #kissmyfatass
