Hello stranger

It's been a seriously long time between drinks for myself and my blog. I battle a lot with the want to share my inner thoughts yet not wanting to at the same time. It's seriously a battle that over time has seen me share less and less. Yet today I feel the need to purge my inner monologue, for it is overflowing and begging to escape. 

Back in December my world started to implode. I let my one major weakness consume me until my head and what felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces. My fear has always been that Marty would one day wake up and realise he could do so much better. I know it's insane the man loves me more than is humanly possible, but I got a bee in my bonnet about it and let it consume me. 

When I fell back down into the rabbit hole of depression, you see the world differently, you see yourself differently and you think anyone who is in your life wants nothing to do with you. Crazy right? But the funny thing is I was crazy, depression and everything was just black. 

Once I hit the bottom I have worked very hard to get back to my normal self. Once I started medication, stopped listening to my inner chatter and started believing in the love that was around me, life got back on track. My heart has become whole again and my trust in what's in front of me is 100%. 

So today I felt like I needed to purge my happiness. I mean, life isn't always roses. It's real, it has ups and downs but the love I have in my life is freaking awesome.