just a touch of cancer

My want to write, download, share and vent has been at its maximum lately. Yet it feels weird, like a friend I have fallen out of touch with. I love writing and have even started the book I have talked about doing, but my blog has been a little neglected. I think I just start to doubt why I share and why anyone would want to read about it? The thing is about blogging it’s more for the writer than the reader. It’s an outlet to share and in doing so gives others a chance to understand another’s inner workings. 

The last seven months have pasted by with almost a dark cloud hanging over our family. The big C entered our family with my strong mum being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Our family structure has changed greatly. I stopped working, Marty changed jobs to allow this, dinners are cooked for 8 and endless trips to the doctors and hospitals. In all this my mum has never not  been positive. 

I have struggled with the positive thinking, I’ll admit.   Tears a plenty have been shed, screaming inside my car when no one was around and sleepless nights caused from a mind that couldn’t stop thinking. Then something small like the sight of a full moon in a sky full of stars or the arms of your child wrapping around you bring you back to what’s great and real in this life. 

With this positivity Ive gained perspective on everything. Life is not a given right, time is not endless and getting caught up in things your can’t change only gives you stress. Mum has just a touch of cancer and we will help her fight as long as she can to beat this horrible monster.