The heart of a broken lion

I stand here today just a little bit more broken than the day that has pasted. My heart has taken such a beating over the last few years and never has it hurt like this. Trust has been broken and I'm not sure time will make it whole again. 

When you think of the things that you say "I'll be fine with that" or "I would never let someone treat me like that". When those things happen the world blurs. All of sudden you have no clue how to handle life and fear you'll never be whole again. 

My life of Late has had these moments and I'll tell you something. You never deal with them the way you think you would. My heart is lost and I'm imploding. It hurts like a son of a bitch. Where is my back bone? Where is my morals? Where did me go?

Anger is absent, tears struggle to fall and blind fear Reins supreme! Fear of loss, fear of standing up for myself and fear of doing what I always said I would do. 

I mean who am I kidding, I'm no lion. I'm not even a cat. I'm a scared little mouse and my voice is too soft to be heard.