Life is awesome

This week has been peachy. All I could ever want for my life to happen....NOT! Tuesday we had a fire in our shops kitchen. Within 10 minutes the whole kitchen was on fire. My brain could only process our lives going up in smoke. 

How will we pay for food?

How will we pay for clothes? 

How will we pay our mortgage?

How will we give our girls all that we can when we have nothing now?

Then I went numb. 

Cold. 

Shaking. 

When I dreamt of how my life would be at 34, it wasn't homeless, broke and jobless. I have to say it still doesn't seem real. I have not slept more than a two hour stint. I can't focus when people are talking to me. My stomach is in knots. I can't think straight. 

Everyone is like five steps ahead of us. The thought of rebuilding and reopening somewhere else is so far removed from where we are at. At the moment it's just insurance claims, money to live and a roof over our heads. 

The majority of strangers that have come to the shop door and tried to peer in the windows is disturbing. Even more so the ones that seem to think that because the front restaurant area isn't burnt that it's not that bad. It is very bad. 

Our insurance  will be lucky to cover all that was damaged. With no money coming in, how do we pay shop bills along with our personal. It's bad and we are wollowing but the road ahead is just not easy. 

The shop reopening may not happen, depending on many factors. I'm trying to be glass is half full but the week has been shit! Down right shit. Life will get better and we will rise back up. I'm just so thankful I have the amazing family and friends that I do. They are truly a blessing I can't thank the gods enough for. I will pay back what everyone has done for us ten fold. 

Bx